I finally uploaded a Gravatar, for comments, etc. I have been hesitant to do this because I used to have a blog, back in the day, and was annoyed when it turned out that people from work read it. So I thought I would make this one anonymous, for now, at least. Then I kind of realized how much better I like reading blogs when I have a mental picture of what the person looks like, and if I’m not using names, it’s all still relatively anonymous, right?
The next step was to find a picture. I didn’t want to include the kids, because I am all about keeping them off the internet to the extent possible. I also didn’t want to include my wife, because she is a rather private person, so I want to be respectful of that. The thing is, the number of recent pictures of me that don’t include someone else are basically limited to like two selfies where my nose looks big. Which I wouldn’t care about much, except that my nose is not actually big. So I was scrolling through my phone pictures, and facebook, and my old email, rejecting photos where I looked “bad.” Then I remembered what I think every time my 13-year old daughter claims to look “bad” in a picture. I think, actually, that’s kind of what you look like. Imperfect, yes, but aren’t we imperfect, anyway?
I found a picture my wife had taken of me on my phone, after we worked on fixing some things in her old apartment on the Upper West Side so that we could sell it. It was May, a warm spring day, and we were having a sneaky afternoon beer together before we went home to let the babysitter go. She was being ridiculous, as usual, and I was laughing. So my nose is a little wrinkled up, my smile is too wide, my shirt is dirty, I’m not wearing makeup, and I had barely brushed my hair. But you know what? That’s kind of what I actually look like. I almost never wear makeup, and I am often working on something, so my shirt is often dirty. And my wife is always, always making me laugh. So here I am, circa 2011. My hair is short now, with bangs, and I have more freckles and wrinkles than I did even three years ago, but still, I feel like this is what I look like. Un-retouched, as it is.