This month, I had a trigger shot. This was a week and a day ago, on the 5th. Well, technically I guess you could say that it was the 6th, since I got home from a work dinner at 1:15 am, so that’s when my wife gave me the shot. Yes, 1:15 am from dinner. Let’s just say that I think she rather enjoyed jamming a needle into my stomach at that point. The end result of the rather viciously-administered shot was that I ovulated on the 7th. We inseminated the 6th and the 7th, just to be sure our bases were covered, but as of the insemination time on the 7th (which was around 11:30 am) I had not yet ovulated.
I then commenced with testing out the trigger shot using the internet cheapies (Wondfo).
(Aside: In case you have not had a trigger shot, it’s basically a shot of HCG that makes you ovulate within 30-40 hours. The problem with this is that HCG is the same hormone that shows up as a positive pregnancy test. So you want to make sure it’s out of your system before you rely on pregnancy test results. Hence, testing out the trigger – taking a pregnancy test every day after the trigger shot until you get a negative. Then, you can be sure that any positive that shows up later is due to HCG made by your body, rather than the shot, and you are actually, for real, pregnant.)
I had to assure my wife that I was not in fact crazy when I ordered a baggie of fifty pregnancy tests from Amazon this month. These little guys remind me somewhat of litmus paper, from 7th grade science. Unlike their pricier brethren, you have to pee in a cup and dip them in, rather than just peeing on a stick. I have found testing out the trigger shot to be a completely miserable experience, for the following reasons:
(1) It sucks to see your first positive pregnancy test when you know there is no way it is an actual, real positive pregnancy test; and
(2) I have terrible aim and always manage to pee on my hand when trying to fill the cup to dip the stupid test strip into.
After finally getting a negative on the Wondfo test on Sunday, I broke down and did a First Response on Monday to confirm, and it was a strong, clear positive. Jesus Christ, I thought. Now not only do I have to do a million pregnancy tests, they all have to be the expensive ones! This morning, my wife and I were running, and I was explaining this saga to her. I have to pee on all the things, all the time, including my own hand! And you know what she said?
Stop. Just stop with the tracking and the charting and the testing and the monitoring. I am only six days past ovulation, and I am already crazy with it all.
According to myself, I should get my period by Monday. According to Fertility Friend, it should come on Tuesday. So you know what? If its not here by Wednesday, we all agree it’s late, and I’ll go get the blood test done. Until then, I let go. You know, if it’s called “letting it go” when you think about it 100 times a day and also blog about it. But this is step one, right?
So — No more testing. No more signing into Fertility Friend to stare at the calendar. Focus on only the following things:
(1) My friend from San Francisco, who is coming tomorrow and staying until Friday (Hi Kate!), for
(2) My wife’s birthday party, which promises to be a drunken bash, at which I will be the Grownup In Charge. She is turning an unmentionable milestone, so high attendance and debauchery is pretty much guaranteed. As the Grownup In Charge, my responsibilities will include sipping on one Bud Light the entire night and/or club soda which I will pretend is a gin and tonic, getting us to the train station in one piece, and “birthday nachos” (my wife does not really like cake – I know, crazy).
(3) Going to the beach house this weekend, and whether said wife will be too hungover from Friday’s festivities to paint the ceiling of the kitchen. I am guessing yes.
(4) The upcoming Actual Birthday, which is on the 22nd (the day after I will find out if I am pregnant – see, I am already bad at not focusing on it). Incidentally, the 22nd also happens to be my birthday, although not a milestone one for me, as I am a number of years younger than the wife. Yes, we have the same birthday. Yes, we like it very much. It means we are both Geminis.